The little things.

Its funny how you forget about the little things. Like not itching. But better when you apply that third coating of hydrocortizone that some ingenious little experimenter thought up. Compared to the John Waynes of WWII and Vietnam you still feel like a pussy. They didn't need it and fought with crabs and a host of other nasty skin infections. Not me, I would have called in to work, but I can't right now. Makes me feel like I am still in boot. Especially when you get up at oh-dark-thirty and you HAVE to be at work for the beginning of a new career. Who isn't nervous when you haven't had any sleep cause you don't know what is going to happen in the next few weeks which might impact the rest of your life? The itching can keep you up too.

Walking the streets beside those plain government buildings and dimly lit sidewalks at oh-dark-hundred I can't help but put chin up and chest out and walk a little bit straighter. Sleep for nights or none for days, you could tell your veteran brethren from those not educated on the military fields across this great land and sense the ambition. The only limiting factor is how far you think you can go. I don't know if it's really the military or just the discipline. I like to think its some of both. The real Ph.D.'s say it's genetic. I agree. All of us have the gene, then the environment exploits it or ignores it. So I would say that inner drive is genetic. But the more you push it, the more it comes out.

For those that lost "it", or think they don't have it, they are wrong. Math is the freshest example in my mind. For four years now, I have watched a person who thought they could not do simple arithmetic with even a calculator. I take great pride in transforming their mentality into something different. How bad do you want to prove yourself wrong? I think part of it, with anything-not just math, is if you get to point "Z" when you started at point little "a", you are afraid of going to "alpha" because you might see "gamma" not far behind. Ah, but you started at little "a", you just have to first attack "alpha" and "beta" then you move on to "gamma" and beyond. Patience-knowing when to sit back and have a drink and when to fiercely attack and even when to obsess-is learned with time and maybe good physical exertion. I learned patience in and out of the military.

Now, I am brought to my knees again at the bottom. But ambition only grows stronger with patience. The funny thing is I am kneeling with former military officers and current engineers. If you are a technician reading this, then I want you to see that we all put our pants on the same way. Its all how far you want to go.

Oh, and let's not forget about the people in general all taking this great life step. Where else can you get the wonderful mixture of cultures except in service? It only makes things better when you get to work with Mineesohtans and New Yawkas and those nasal Michiganders and lets not forget those good folks from North Cakalaki. People from every part of the U.S. of A. at the four corners of the U.S. of A.(look it up).

Being intimidated isn't too bad. Being strong isn't too bad if you are careful. Hard labor just sharpens your focus and the pain makes you feel alive. Sometimes just keeping your damned mouth shut does the best. And pressing some grass definitely ain't bad. Persistence and strength go a long way.

Sorry if this is so scatter-brained, I'll clean it up later.